The Poster That I Will Have!

Heh. Been a while since I posted last, but that's only because I've been having a hard time getting round to posting! I do feel like it's important to keep posting, however, because this is a good way to keep a snapshot of a point in my life, ready for inspection at any time. The only problem though, is that once I create a post entry, I DON'T want to look back at it. Oh well...

Today I learned all about pottery firing and how to make clay. Did you know that almost no Americans know how to make clay? Not even your average potter. On top of that, most of them have no interest in making their own clay (you'd think people around here in Northern California would take pride in using local materials. Guess not) Maybe I'll provide an offshoot link to how pottery and clay are done. But not now. Not tonight! I shouldn't even be blogging...

As I watch all my money slowly dwindle, I am now convinced that i must save all my money for the future. I must invest this money into education, rather than little trinkets that will put me nowhere. Time is running out, and so I must cram all i can into my head before I am completely accountable for myself (which is sooner than I think it will be). I must forge my cleaver with which i will cook the culinary dishes that I have been learning to make. I must devise the memory of pottery material manipulation so that I may remember to create more in the future, when i can't find anything else to really do. I must train hard physically while my body is still primed for growth and before i am unable to get stronger. I must learn to be an accountant so that i open more doors in my non-career world. I must utilize sensei with movies and japanese. I must write movie scripts with Erin. And I must learn from all those around me about how people work and how to take care of yourself.

To clarify some things:
Me and Paul are ante-ing up the pieces of physical labor as of late. He's been taking crew class (rowing) and getting his ass kicked. I didn't ask for the competition, though Evan has been disappointing me. I will train with my carts and planet health. And though he will probably gain mass faster than I, his class will end long before i end my cart career. Mainly I'm just focused on looking good, not big, but competition is fun.

I am worried that I'm getting too much exercise in. I already eat like a monster, and hurt most every day. But the real kicker is that Evan's trying to get me to get back into DDR during what little free time I have, as well as Meghannray is trying to get me to go to a step aerobics class. However, I must set limits. I will do the DDR, but not the aerobics. It's just too much. (planet health, then 8 hours of work, then DDR. Ow.) Skill! Skill!

Speaking of goofy stuff, I bought karaoke for the xbox. It's interesting. It seems to be fun to screw around on, but much more for drunken singing (heh). However, strangely, everyone wants me to sing for them! It was a shocker for me. They like my voice. Though I do like my voice, I think evan's is more fun to listen to (especially when he sings "steal my sunshine") So i kept trying to get him to sing. He doesn't like to that much. Oh well. I guess we need to get more karaoke tunes?

I should also mention that I'm really not interested in anyone anymore, relationship-wise. I'm disgusted by Meghannray's drug consumption and am really not interested in her that much lately (my problem is that when i visit her, it seems like the right thing to do. I just feel some sort of good feeling in my heart. I don't approve of her much but something keeps me from treating her like any other person that i would talk to. I think something important's going to happen. In the meantime, I will try to get my friend off of the substances that she is abusing for no good reason)

Me and Evan suffered injuries at work. Evan cut his finger and i cut my head. Evan punctured a small but deep hole when he got it caught between a rock and the moving cart hawk (600 pounds of force accelerating to 3 mph) he was blacking out and in quite a bit of pain. I hit my head against the corner of a ceiling when i got too much air jumping down the stairs. I laughed hysterically and started to bleed. and bleed. and bleed. I looked gothic, according to people. My hair was matted in blood, my eyes were drenched in it (mascara!) and dripping everywhere. Interestingly enough i didn't get any on my clothes really (I'm good about not getting stuff on my clothes!) and me and Evan laughed the whole time as people cleaned me and sent me off. They wanted me to go to the doctor, but i'm not into stitches when the cuts aren't deep and refused (i had my dad look at it instead. He said i was ok.)

I've been thinking lately about: "comfortably joyless" versus "uncomfortably joyful". Have you ever sat and felt relaxed and comfortable, but unhappy? How about tired and in pain (or even stuck in an uncomfortable position), yet you were happy where you are? I am so happy with me in taking on all these challenges and shooting for the moon. (though i think i'm hitting the moon most of the time, the quote i love to tell is "It's better to shoot for the moon and miss than to aim for the cowpie and hit") When i was doing literally nothing during the summer of 2003 (truly a year to say good riddance to) i was in a comfort zone but unhappy. These days, I'm happy but i'm always challenging myself, contorting myself into positions (heart mind body and spirit) that are uncomfortable and go to the limit. But I'm always looking out for my well being rather than others. I find that, if you take care of yourself rather than others, people will notice you and want to be around you. Don't spend time worrying about someone else, because only they can truly take care of themselves. I could wish a million dollars for you, but unless i spent the time to gather the million dollars and give it to you, wishing that million dollars is going to do you no good, and it's wasting my time and energy. Meanwhile, I'm neglecting myself. And that's not good, since no one is really taking care of me (nor should be!). It's a good idea to look after your best interests. Spending time helping a friend makes you feel good about yourself (and if it doesn't, then you shouldn't be helping them (sounds selfish, but it's not. Think about it)). Taking that medicine that tastes bad will help you overrall. You should take it even though it tastes yucky. Just look after your best interests.

I must sleep now since i've stayed up so late to write (when i shouldn't be writing!) and i'm too tired to create killer sentences that are full of coherence.


As a quick afterthought, I'd like to help a friend of mine get a bakery rolling (and making good money doing it, if successful. I've always wanted to work in a coffee shop/bakery), as well as get to japan. I'm thinking about being a director since I'm discovering I like telling stories and things. Hard work will reveal my true feelings to me, methinks.

Cheesy quote time!

Playgirl, why are you sleeping in tomorrow’s world?

D.