They Say, That In Space, No One Can Hear You Fart

I feel like I'm in space. Free, able to rotate in any position, but unable to move in a different direction. Free (?) but helpless.

Helplessly free?

I was thinking about characters in a story while driving home from my run today, and how authors typically progress conversation by having one character talk about something already obviously known (such as, "so, you're a princess?") and then having the other character respond with what the audience expects ("yeah. It's such a terrible thing to be, though") then, the author has the first character respond with, again, the answer that he wants the audience to expect ("Why is that??? Having riches and fame and people waiting on you would be one of the best things that I would dream of!") and then the author, yet again, has the second character respond with something he thinks the audience expects ("Well, for starters, you can't go anywhere. you're imprisoned as some sort of figure of the people. If only I could go out someday... -sigh-")

Note that the author uses the previous sentence to build the next. It's very linear, but in our society we've grown accustomed to it.

One thing that sets shows apart from real life is that the writers attempt to keep the characters stuck on a limited set of issues, issues that affect the entire group of characters. Personal issues are usually snubbed out (either that or introduced and then resolved by the end of the episode, which puts the character group (hereafter referred to as "the party") back to square one, just like at the start of most every episode).
In real life, everybody is getting together just to meet and have fun for a little while. If 2 or more people are doing the same thing, it's pure coincidence, and those 2 people will break apart as soon as they aren't doing exactly the same thing. It's kind of sickening. Everybody's alone. Nobody's together (except for, I presume, married couples and families. But even that is not true always)

Of course, that is American culture. "Mind your own business" is the order of the day. No one wants to be rude to people who may be possibly in their lives.

In Japan, it's different. "We Japanese" is the saying. It's odd. I have a friend from Japan who says, you know one, you know them all (of course, that's a broad generalization with serious flaws, but they all are very similar). He could predict every aspect of a person, AND get it right, if he found out they were japanese (of course, this is in japan)

America is full of people who are different, diverse. Japan is full of people who act the same, who are in it to accomplish a specific goal.

Individuality vs. Community. Lose the self for the collective?

Japanese people are VERY productive. Indeed, for a country (with population) that size, those people are a powerful economic force.

But they had to make sacrifices.

But anyway, I was talking about people busy with their own lives.

People are not really creating exciting stories that you'd find on TV, movies, or in novels. Time and again, I find this primitive grouping mentality that goes on, with head honchos, majority rules governing the new government of the group, and the "leader" of the group (who got there by being the most powerful person in the group)having a heavy weight on the group. It's interesting from one perspective, and it's kind of odd. You'll find that the groups tend to do the same activity over and over, seldom venturing out and trying some new activity, until the fun is just not enough to justify the group(and the governing rules of the group)'s existence. Then, it breaks up and new groups are formed with somewhat different rules. It's interesting.

I try to be an outsider, an independent person. I don't think I do a very good job at it.

These groups don't usually have a quest; just try to make the fun last until things don't work anymore, and then end it all. I think quite a few relationships work this way in this day and age, too.

A lot of people are just static. I guess a fair analogy is that everyone is kind of like a part to a machine for someone else to put together and enjoy (until it falls apart) it's kind of odd, since everyone is a part to everyone elses' machine (multiple instances of the same part existing in the same place)... uh, yeah. Think about that one, will you? (I want to move on to something else now since it's so late)

but anyway.

buckets of fun was had at work today. I had one person who was just throwing up (well, that person wasn't throwing anything up but the person's body was trying to) with every exhale, so that one got THE BUCKET. One kid kept asking me for morphine (as if I had the authority to give it!) as I countered with personal information inquiries ("name?" "John/Jane Doe. Can I have some morphine now?"). Others just looked plain awful. We had one "frequent flyer", who kept insisting that they had a standing order for pain medication. Apparently, that person comes in to get drugs that they don't need.

Tricking the tricksy tricksters is tricky

overrall, I still like my job.

The same can't be said for Meghannraye, though. She says her job stinks (as usual) and she's getting fed up with the bad wages and hard work. But, more than that, she doesn't talk to too many people when she's off of work, so she doesn't have much to do, which makes her have only one thing to look forward to... work. What's more, she's been not wanting to deal with her social life because, well...

For the past month, she's been seeing someone that she *FINALLY* deeply cares about (in *that* sort of way)... Heh, I used to love mentioning his name to her, just to see that extreme smile of happiness... She's been seeing him every day, hanging out, what-have-you... and then he didn't talk to her for 4 days, and then came back and said he was going to Chico to find a new house to move into... didn't call her for three days, came back and said he was moving to Chico! And she's been devastated ever since, and feels like she should just break up now.

her mind's in the gutter right now. Poor Meghannraye.

Good news for Meghannraye? She got this nasty bill from the hospital, whereby she owed $3000 for getting her shoulder located (I think I mentioned this before in an earlier entry), lowered down to $300. She learned the importance of insurance...

Speaking of money, I cashed in a whole bunch of accrued checks, and now have enough to buy a decent car (the higher side of cheap. $2000...) I feel like I need to buy a new compy system, though, since

1) this hard drive ain't cutting it. I have STACKS (and I mean STACKS) of DVD-R's, full of data (4.7 gigs a DVD) most of the data I've never looked at, heh, but one day... (well, I got way too much to do. Maybe when I'm 80 and the program is out-of-date)
2) I want a more powerful workhorse processor (to do what? Umm... load mozilla faster? Ok. Maybe my brother needs a better processor for his music data crunching (he records music)) primarily, I think I just want a better hardware RAID-ed ability (mine, while it's SATA, awesome for RAIDing, and fast when done being booted up, has a horrendous load time when all the devices are loading)

umm.. yeah.

Oh! Also, I found out that my job is so easy that I can spend MORE time memorizing MORE japanese words than at my OLD workplace. (take note that i'm referring to when I could memorize a whole bunch of words during (old) work. As fewer and fewer carts were left to work with, I stopped being able to memorize any words at all)

I love my job.

Anyway, I *really* need to sleep. I've been having this headache problem as of late (i'm thinking I need to figure out a water-drinking routine) and I have so much stuff to fix up, since I'm behind when I stopped doing anything (save for play time wasting video games)

I would also like to mention, before I sleep, that I finally recognize that it's summer! The time goes by slowly, but it's enjoyable, and I don't feel stuck in January anymore. Something tells me that I'm going to mark this point in my life as a good point in my life. Options are immense! The future is mine to manipulate! (you can never command it. I'm being a smartass, accurate and that)

Sleep now. For your wives may weep (what am I saying???)

Easy to poke yourself square in the eye
Harder to like yourself, harder to try
These are espouses
Postcards and neoprene
Roses a dollar a stem
Everyone`s sleeping or pulling the long haul and
Keys in the cooler its three A.M.
And Saturn is beckoning no one
It`s off on its own
It`s offering up
D.