Punishing Pistons!

Jepus!I can't believe I'm updating right now. Somehow, I've been thinking about this blog, and am posting -- despite not even having enough time in a day to do the minimum required amount of work at school.

Because of the lack of time, what follows is going to be just a stream of my thoughts. I don't have time to error correct, so if this all comes out right that's cool, if not, I told you so!

I've been working at Scripps Hospital in La Jolla. Very beautiful place. I get pampered a lot. We have 1, 2, sometimes 3 parties every week, free good food most of the time, Great pay ($13/hr!), cheap medical insurance benefits, $1000 tuition reimbursement/yr, easy work, and a family-sort of relationship down in the Health Information (medical record) department. It's a nice job to have, and is definitely a good place to advance -- if I were interested in records management.

As it stands, I hate records management in the career sense. I think I may have to find another job at some point just because I want to transcend this sort of work. I'm young, I should diversify around low-ish paying jobs.

However, it's really, really cool that I have this job in the meantime. I know i've made it now! So, I'll be staying a while, maybe even get the credentials for this sort of work as a backup.

The types of things I do are very easy to describe. The easiest thing I do is this: take your left hand, and make it straight, like it was lying on a table. Now, bend and straighten your middle finger. That's one of the tasks I do (and the only task, if I wanted). What I really do is move paper stacks to check for consistency -- very easy.

Most of the time, though, I am cataloguing, and adding/removing volumes from the shelves of medical records. I am basically a librarian. I check records in, I "purge" them to the big long-term warehouse, I process them, and I append new information inside of old. It's easy.

The only drawback to this job is the 30 minute bicycle ride to work. Still a huge leg up from my mad river hospital commute, which was an hour and 10 minutes each way (and I think it's not as hilly, either. Still hot, though).

But the bike ride isn't so bad. I get my exercise, and my trip goes straight through UCSD -- I get to see all the awesome buildings at sunrise. I also get to stop and study along the way.

So, work is awesome. (Oh, and my boss gives me days off IMMEDIATELY. I don't have to wait next week or whatever. How cool is that? I think this is all part of the "great place to work" campaign the hospital has. They want to be listed on the fortune 500 as one of the top 100 places to work for in the nation. They have that award in many other demographics, such as working mother and AARP magazine.)

Now, school.

I am so frustrated with this school. Every step of the way has been sheer pain! From the moment of applying to today, it has been one nasty struggle. I don't know if I should just give up on the place (is this a sign of some sort not to go here?), or if it's all a lesson to make me a better person, or what. But what I do know is that I'm thoroughly irritated by the school. Nobody helps me out. People are very stern here. The work is so hard, yet the teachers don't bother to thoroughly explain the material. I feel like I'm teaching myself, and don't need the class!

I forgot to say that I'm working full time and going to school full time. Not enough time to do anything (maybe I already mentioned this?!??)


It was so hard to get into this school. It was so hard getting down here, conserving money, eating ramen to make it to payment, attending the MANDATORY yet useless meetings (though I give credit that all universities have this requirement in some way or another...), not getting help with my financial aid, being misled on class registration and then receiving no help, being turned away for career/job aid on campus, being denied access to counselors and those in power to help...

What irks me the most, though, is how I see so much activity on campus but I can't participate in it! This campus is supposed to help me link up to people who can help me in life, and I feel like those extra-curricular activities that I cannot do are just there to mock me. I want to volunteer. I want to meet others. I want to have friends, to have fun! But, I have to work.

Well, I got my scholarship and Federal Financial aid (as of a few days ago): it's a total of about $26,000. Teamed with this well-paying job, mark my words, I'm gonna claw my way through this Fizbucking school. I'm gonna take internships, network with teachers, and turn this ridiculously hard place into my tool.

I just gotta get used to the whole "learn on your own" shit that this school has. I feel gypped educationally, so I'll salvate with socialization.

But first, I gotta go brush up on my physics and calculus for this entry-level chemistry class. Got a test tomorrow. The TA is incompetent, won't speak at all, folds arms and tenses muscles in a shy manner. It's all up to me.

Memorize and regurgitate indeed. Maybe I shouldn't take human biology or any other science course (although it also pays well, I'm mainly taking human biology because I'm interested in my own body and the school is "strong" in it)

I need to sleep. I've been getting sick. I'm kicking down my work schedule to 32 hours/week so I can at least finish memorizing planck's constant, epsilon-zero, and h-bar, among others (wished the course had listed physics as a prerequisite!). I guess I'm supposed to meet two girls tomorrow in some sort of "blind date". I'm sure they'll both be disappointed to find out that I'm already taken. The more friends, the better. I wish I could make some guy friends (who aren't partying idiots) for a change.

Fuck.

One thing I can count on about my bad feelings, which I always look forward to, is that I'm not always going to feel that way. I won't be sad/angry/scared forever. Why not feel better sooner, rather than later?