cars and girls

I've zeroed in on a 2002 Civic EX with a 1.7 liter VTEC engine, sunroof, anti-lock brakes(ABS), and a whole bunch more (MUCH more. Just too tired to get more stuff written here).
Erin states that he is defeated in terms of the best economy car. I'm proud of myself.

Evan is paying the same amount for his 2001 (non VTEC and accessorized) Civic: nearly 14,000 ka-chinger-ingers.

It's gold colored (was 2002 the golden year or what?), has only 13,000 miles... manual.... *cleans drivel off of shirt*

Now I've got to get a co-signor. Not a big deal.

My mother will probably be a solution. This would be an awesome opportunity to mend hard feelings between us (we're both over everything that has happened; I know it. But, we haven't had any way to work together. This should work)

My grandparents (who have even better credit, and are rich) are a second. My dad will be paying most of the money for this car, with me being the second safeguard for my co-signor, so it is a very low risk situation.

I love this car!

On to things prior (I should tells you all, I'm very tired. I just got done talking to Erin on the phone (told him I was going to sleep. Hi, Erin.), ending a stressful day of car salesmen and a small amount of sleep. Yes, the construction of my sentences aren't that great, but right now it's the idea that counts. I have a hard time getting on to blog (even on this spring break!) so I blog it when I get the time.).

Yes, I got a payraise to $8.11. I'm working on getting into produce. Only 4 years left and I get 5 years worth of stock (proportional to the hours I worked and the pay I earned over the past 5 years)! The stock is currently at 20$, but, since we're growing so fast (we just defeated most major southern Cal stores with the soda pop wars (we got down to 38 cents per 12 pack), and are now making a large profit) the stock is expected to hit 100$ before splitting again. This, on top of plans to go public... There will be a lot of millionares before this is through!

I was going to get glasses today, but spent the time on finding the car instead. I already feel like the car is mine. It is my destiny to own that car.

Me and Erin are still projected to go down to San Fran on Friday. Hopefully in a Honda Civic? We'll be staying with Erin's (fabled) rich grandparents, and hopefully we'll be meeting up with Richard, who is selling property down there (heh, he finally found someone who could afford his land...)

I was going to blog last night, but was too tired. I had some rather fun news to share, though I believe the car overshadows it now.

Me and Meghanraye went surfing yesterday. Though the waves were crappy, we had lots of fun. We haven't been hanging out as much as we used to, and she wishes to change that. I have no complaints with the idea (though it's been really hard to find time for anyone).

On to the rather fun part.

Just as a foreword to said fun part... I don't really want to toot my own horn, but I get complimented on my looks quite a bit (I bet it's my eyes). People stop me, tell me how I look handsome, or like Jonathan Brandice, and so forth and then go off their merry way (I think I will be a person who speaks his opinion to people. "Like the jacket!" or "get some spatz!" should be some of my catch phrases). Anyway...

I get hit on as well. But not as blatantly as last night. Last night, two girls were leaving the store, when one of them said (loud, since we're on the parking lot) "She likes you!" I turned around and saw them.

Huh? Wha? Oh, geez! Two pretty and smart looking women! What did they just say? Oh geez!

So, as they hop into their SUV, I say, "I'm flattered," with a blushing smile. The one who talked said, "Well, you're hot"

heh heh. She said I was hot. *the beavis within me comes out*

So, I didn't know quite what to do. I smiled and went back in the store. Not really looking that much at the SUV with 2 girls in it, not moving. It was there for a little while, but then it drove off.

Damn, I thought. Not again. At least I had said something back to them (it used to be I was too shy). So, to figure out what I did wrong (so I quit the bad habit), I went and talked to Bo. Bo is very knowledgable of relationships, since he's been in so many (as have his friends). I popped it at him, giving the descriptions, etc. Bo told me...

I played all the cards right.

If they want a relationship, they have to pursue me. I cannot start or take control of it, so I just need to be polite and SMILE.

Do I really want a relationship again though is the question. I'm at a stage in my life where I know I'm not ready, and getting in one again would just fuck me over. I don't like to be casual with my relationships, so no fuck buddies (that sentence is aimed at you, Erin!). I have my head completely straight only recently -- why jeapordize it now? Excitement? hmm....

I finally got over Jamie completely last week. Stopped looking at her blog one day, and said I wouldn't do it again (didn't mean it seriously, though that's how most of my major impacting decisions come about) I got people who care about me to devote my time to. What was I thinking, hoping that she would come back and talk to me?

You see, I have this problem. I hide it from everyone and it never seems to bother anyone, so few people know about it.

I have this problem with obsessing over things, especially when I have too much mental time on my hands. I remember, over the summer of 2002, how I couldn't stop thinking of Meganraye in the context of a specific song (when I had a crush on Meghanraye at the time). She never knew it then, and still doesn't (and since she supposedly reads this blog, she does now. But it doesn't matter. You know I had a crush on you, anyway. What does it matter?). I have a tendency to check and recheck the news when I have too much spare time.

I need something to occupy my mind. The easiest thing to think about comes first.

So, Every day for the past 3 months I thought of Jamie. Oh, there were other things I thought about, but Jamie would always pop up. I'd be memorizing japanese words during work, for example, when suddenly... Jay... me..... D'oh! Focus on the japanese!

Then it dawned on me some time ago. She isn't coming back.

It was like waking up from a terrible nightmare. A four month, self-induced nightmare. Sure, it hurt for a little while but I felt free in the end.

Kind of weird.

So, yes. I did obsess over her in my head. People don't know it when I obsess about them, and it doesn't hurt anybody, since I don't show it.

I actually loved her still. The relationship may have died, but the now-dead body was still breathing and contracting (kind of a grotesque way of putting it. I'm thinking of that point after death when the body still makes contractions as the cells all waste away...)

Not one person that I know of has said that Jamie was an ok person. That's kind of weird. They ask me, what was I thinking?
I get scoffed at at work by people when i respond that the relationship didn't work out because of differences. Then they make some brash comment about her.

I still don't really understand what was so weird about her. I guess there was something wrong with her.

But, anyway, just wanted to post my last (latest) comments about Jamie before these memories, too, fade away, and I forget all the aforementioned information (probably years down the road).

Heh, everybody's crazy. It's just the degree of craziness that matters. The previously mentioned obsession problem is my little quirk, but I am strong enough to overcome anything. I know it.

(Bold words, yes? But I am so sure of myself that it's practically a fact to me. Hence the bold words)

I MUST SLEEP! work at 9:30. Mayhaps a chopper in the air to show the traffic report? Nay?

WHAT AM I SAYING? Perhaps I'm just goofing off now. Maybe I'm ready for San Fran.

I'd like to formulate an idea of air traffic helicopters for movies. Good night.

Don't Let it bring you down, it's only castles burning. Just find someone who's turning, and you will come around
D.