Rocket Ranger, Ready to Rock!

The wheels of change continue to turn.

As I was driving home from school late at night tonight, a rage of dissatisfaction enveloped me. A feeling that I get when I want to move.

That's when I knew that It's time to go.

I've had this feeling several times before, so it isn't anything new. It's an exhilerating feeling tied to another feeling that seems held back. It's like an excited dog chained to a doghouse; the dog strives to break loose.

I originally came back to Humboldt County because I was dissatisfied and fed up with no academic opportunities in Utah. I came here with little more than some clothes and a computer (no monitor). I didn't even have any hair! I had dealt with so little for so long , that I had an intense thirst for progression, and a will of iron. It was all out awesome, unlike anything I've ever known (I don't know anyone who's been through what I've been through. I always wonder if anybody else has experienced this) I could not consider passing up the opportunity. Not even Jeremiah could stop me from coming back (which ended with him ex-communicating everybody who lives here).

I got college up and running by my birthdate that year (2002), got a pretty house ready to live in (God I miss that house on Humboldt Hill), and acquired my first real job (quite a good job). After that, I lost focus and let my time whither on unnecessary, nay, dangerous, ventures (sex, drugs, purchases), and fell into a comfort zone.

But the comfort zone is an uncomfortable place to be in. After being stuck in it with a belly empty with anger for so long, I'm hungry again. Again, all I needed was some inspiration, an opportunity, to jog my memory...

I'm proud of what I've built up so far, but it's not good enough. This place can only take me so far. It's time to board the next train. The next step in my ascension is at hand (I'm a fervent believer that I'm going to ascend to the top. Yeah, it's stuck up and stuff, fallacious even, but I've always felt this way. I want it to happen. And I will do what it takes). I've been spinning my tires for too long.

It takes work to make your dreams come true. Nobody is going to go out of their way to hand you what you want on a silver platter. You have to try and try and try until you unlock that door that is between you and your goal. There aren't shortcuts, so take comfort in the fact that you're cheating yourself out of what you want if you try. You can do it if you keep trying! I know this to be true.

I'm working on getting everything hammered out. currently, me and Evan are working together, with a projected date being late this December/ early January (Evan has been wanting to leave Humboldt for a long time). My dad wants me to solo this, but I have a strong feeling he's going to draw himself down there as well. There's money to be made!

Even if my dad doesn't come down, I'm going. It will be rather scary going solo, but I do have time on my side (for now). I can make repeated trips, talk to people for applications for housing and work and come back to Humboldt until I find something. But I need to get out. Besides, do any of you really think my dad would let me fail like that?

However, before I leave, I need to acquire a new group of friends to leave behind. I have repossessed all my old friends, including the ones who moved away (one who was in Oregon, and another who moved to Hawaii. I have not reacquired Jeremiah. Maybe we should get back together in some sort of weird friendship? Might happen, knowing him. Though... I don't think I'd do it), but I need to have people to leave behind. The people who I deal with here are all planning on migrating to the bay area, so I need people of acceptable quality to go somewhere else. I didn't spend two years here to not acquire anyone new that I'll keep in touch with. However, new people of good quality around here are in short supply, since this town is so FRICKING small (9 times out of 10 my friends are friends with people I try to get to know. It's irritating), as well as the people aren't of good quality *cough cough* ZACK *cough* sraigon *cough wheeze * *choke sputter*.

I'll finish tying the knot with Graham, keep in contact with a few WinCo coworkers (as well as shannon), and then blast on out of here.

Kind of crazy to think that I've been working at my job for 5 months. Time has gone by so fast that it's rather alarming (i've been a really busy body, but it went by that fast? There goes my life). I'm working on becoming a registrar at the hospital, admitting patients for 15$/hr. I think I stand a good chance of getting hired, since my dad is 3rd in command at el hospital. So long WinCo, you've been good to me, but you're hard work that doesn't pay enough (better than many places, but not good enough for me. Never be satisfied!)

INTERMISSION:*voyeuristic japanese schoolgirls (not nude, so don't worry!)*

*grabs a brownie and eats*

Ayn Rand, you're so cool.

I'm a gone done readin' atlas shrugged, so I'll keep ya posted on that.

On the side, I think my wardrobe overhaul is paying off in ways i didn't know. That and a consistent smile. Already today, and I SHIT YOU NOT, I've been picked up on 8 times by girls with that sort of eye contact that you are advised to NOT BREAK AWAY FROM (you know it when you get it), as well as I had one girl come up to me, out of the blue, and inquire HEAVILY about what I was doing (japanese kanji), what I thought about it, and some other questions about the mechanics of japanese. That and another girl asked me if I liked fish (she tried to give me her packaged fish. I declined since I don't really care about fish).

Wow, I reek of success. Hehe. This is getting fun!

Meghanraye should be back in action this Sunday. Huzzah! She feels bad that she's been treating me badly (I didn't really notice but ok (she has been "treating me badly" because she's been so depressed. Poor Meghanraye!)) and so we're going to go do something tomorrow . Don't know what, but it's guaranteed to be fun.

Shannon isn't joining the military anymore (I forgot to mention that earlier). I'm proud of her.
My brother Ben is teaching guitar lessons to kids. Kind of cool.
Chris will be seeing the foresight convention in May. I'm envious. So much to learn! Go Zen garden!

I bought an Atomic ball! (Not a link to an atomic ball since I couldn't find a picture of it. The site is awesome though. Take a look!). Makes a great conversation piece. I'd like to stick it on my backpack, but I haven't spent enough time to get a carribeaner to hook it up.

Time for bed.


*SUPER SECRET ADDENDUM* If you look at the corner fence post over by the physical science building (back side), you will find the inscription "Gay Teddy Bear". Just a fun factoid
The true measure of maturity is the ability to compromise