The fourth of July is upon us again. However, I'm not sure what my plan is. Will I meet with Paul and Ben (Probably meet with Ben)? Will we use the same old firework tactics (probably not)?
I've discovered soda pop and dry ice. That stuff is strong enough to blow off tarmac without fire! Think of the thrust! We'll have to be careful...
Also, using corn starch and water is awesome. Not for fireworks but just for putting vibrations in (vibrations that you can see), as well as creating holes in the solution. The holes sustain themselves, eat eachother up, and then repel eachother, much like objects in space do. Also, you can create "fingers" (that rise out of the solution) that will not only sustain themselves but also spread throughout the solution (attributed to the vibrational energy? Maybe the bunsen burner underneath...) What if you lit the fingers on fire! Hee hee hee...
Yeah, corn starch is safe, and fun. You know I love food!
A tribute to Pokey the Penguin.
I went to "Big Rock" in Willow Creek today. I Wished I had brought sandals, because I endured many sharp rocks as I traversed the river to get to the nice sand bar with Meghannraye. It was worth it, though (it's been a long time since I've been to a river). Then, we went to the ocean. It wasn't clear like Willow Creek was, but watching the fog roll in was nice...
I got to admit, I've been barely doing anything. I still haven't been running, I haven't been studying at home like I wanted to, and I haven't been working 40 hours like I projected (I got a new boss, and she has me working 4 days a week, rather than the planned on 5).
I could be running, studying, and working 40 hours, but I just don't feel motivated. My landlord needs work, my japanese teacher charges me money for every lesson whether I study or not, and my body will degrade over time from no stress. And what do I spend my free time doing? Lounging around, doing nothing (blanked mind) or playing video games (not that often, but...). Why??? Such a waste of time. For someone who tries to maximize his efficiency to have the most free time (and wants to work so he doesn't have to work in the future), I sure do squander my free time like no tomorrow in nothingness.
Speaking of efficiency, all is not lost. I feel an anger coming over me that, if I can build it up, will get me working in blind rage. What's more, my efficiency when I AM working (specifically at work) is stupendous. Already I have devised ways to keep the number of patients at the ER booth down, and this past week I spent a little less than half of my time at work (32 hours) studying and reading at my leisure. THAT's what I'm after!
When I get home, that's when the time goes bye-bye. In general, I'm just not treating myself all that well. Oh well. Maybe I should start out by planning to accomplish just one thing... one simple thing... each day. Something that will make my life a little bit better in the future... ?
I think I'm going to start not playing video games again. Back when I lived in Alaska (a horribly lonely place whose only social highlight (in my opinion) are the buddhist monks trudging through the snow) I decided to stop my video game addiction once and for all, and I succeeded. It was very, very, VERY hard, one of the hardest things that I did, I was so addicted. But I did it, and I was surprised to find out that, when I tried one after several months, they were so boring, and I didn't want to play them. To this day, I still find them really boring, even the really popular titles of yore.
Why did I even start up again? Why do I keep buying them? I see the used games for out-of-date consoles on sale and worry that I will never get the chance to have that game if I don't snatch it now. So I buy a whole bunch. Then, I feel guilty that I've spent so much money on video games ($10 a game) without playing them and feel like I owe it to myself to play them. It's the responsible thing to do.
I've almost completed one, am nowhere near completing 2 others, and I feel like the time has slipped through my fingers. I'm so disgusted with how little I've accomplished, ("If you spend two hours more, you'll get to see this little hidden side cinema!") with so much time used, that I really want to quit playing them altogether again.
Why don't I just buy books?
And what's the point of gaining all this knowledge? I have spent years and years gathering and cultivating knowledge like MAD, and I want a return on it all.
It frustrates me that I will lose all this knowledge when I die. Furthermore, it frustrates me that I'll lose everything when I die. Almost makes me want to give up. Play video games. I'm so compelled to keep going, though. Maybe it's the thrill of the possibilities that the knowledge opens up that keeps me going? I'm still at a loss as to why I keep gathering information.
I want to change the world for the better, in a big way. That'd be the thrill. That's always been my long term goal. Working towards that has a lot of meaning to me.
But, anyway, I need to get back on my feet. Get myself back to work. Quit being the lazy dude. I'm ahead of the game right now, having the right job (full of hot women. Honestly, that definitely makes an impact on how I feel at work), the correct groundwork laid out for school (Working at the hospital has shown me that I don't really want to work at the hospital), the right attitudes, minimal bills, a large number of opportunities to take...
What more could I ask for? Life is so freeking awesome right now, and here I am playing video games!
I guess I'll spend my money on books here on out. I just get worried that it won't do me much good. At my present level of knowledge, I've found that there's quite a few people who just don't care about what you know. They even get annoyed! I wish people were more receptive sometimes.
Of course, it may be that they're just not interested in that topic. Try again!
Anyway, while I love my job right now, I've heard lots of people question whether I'll "make it" or not. They say that I'm overqualified with computer tech $kI11z and that the wage that I make is way too low.
But of course I'm going to stay! I want to earn my bullshit! Show people on resumes, "Look, I worked there for 6 months! I know how to be a receptionist!" and people will give it to me. My job is great while going to college, but I may try rolling the dice some more to find an even better job at the end of 6 months.
Right now, though, I'm looking for a job that'll keep me alive until I get through college. After that, I'll have my job's objective to be helping me go up in the status ladder of the world. I'll have to look for jobs that I'll care about doing, though, because I can't put up with jobs that I don't care about for long.
I don't think I'll ever stick with any one job, though. I just can't bring myself to sampling one things and only one thing, day in and day out. I must keep progressing, for my own sake.
I think Ronald (McDonald) is some magic pedophile
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